Reality Reconstruction

The Art Of The Con

I had only three hours to get it done. I wasn’t sure if I would even come close, but I had her a promise. A promise I wish I never would have made. She has a way of doing things like that to me, my thinking, my decision making process. She has, or used to have, a way to make me reconsider things I previously thought to be unshakable. Such is her power. Or was. Until after what happened.

It wasn’t always that way. There’s been a time when we agreed with everything a hundred percent, fifty percent each way. We had an open line of communication, and discussed everything like rational adults. Then I began slipping. Others in my situation may have accused her of deception, and manipulation, but the weakness was all mine. Had I not allowed her those first few points with any argument (against my better judgment), things never would have gotten so messed up.

Human nature is an interesting thing. Many conflicts arise when one party accuses the other of willful deception or manipulation, when in reality it is merely an unconscious strategy that has worked for a long, long time. In many cases, the first things we learn is how to manipulate others. We cry, and we get attention. Pretty soon we cry, not because something is wrong, but because we want attention. And it works again and again.

As we get older, our strategies become more devious, complicated, and automatic. We unknowingly unleash some long, convoluted strategy to manipulate and deceive, but since it’s an unconscious process, we only have a vague idea of what our true intention are. We are just going by our gut “feelings.” Of course, to an outside observer with even a modicum of assertiveness, our ploy is quickly uncovered and exposed. We are accused of Machiavellian strategizing, and are aghast.

Who me? Are you accusing me of that? How dare you!

And the fight begins.

Primatologists have long known that even chimps employ deceptive, sneaky behavior to best their rivals. One famous case was when a young chimp was going after a piece of fruit left by a researcher. A much older, female chimp got there first, and took the fruit. The younger chimp let out a cry, that was (based on the researchers observations) reserved for when the chimp was in physical danger.

The chimp’s mother raced in, and upon seeing the older chimp, assumed the older chimp had done something to harm her son. A fight ensued, and the fruit was dropped, and the young chimp was successful in manipulating the situation.

Another example is when the researchers left out some oranges. They hid the oranges while everybody was sleeping, except for one chimp that saw the whole thing. Had he gone immediately to the oranges, he would have alerted the grownups, and lost his booty. So he remembered where they were hidden, and one by one, ate them in secret over the next several weeks while the rest of the chimps slept.

Some say it is our very nature to be deceptive, and the whole purpose of communication is manipulation, and to engineer our social standing in our groups. There are even some who believe the whole development of language stems from the same behaviors that chimps exhibit when they groom each other.

Chimp grooming is a highly complicated, tit for tat set of behaviors that has a large impact on how much social power one can develop. Much can be said for gossiping.

Of course, none of this mattered, as my time was quickly running out. As my deadline grew closer and closer, I realized there was no way I was going to make it. And she was going to be angry. Angry that I wouldn’t be able to complete a task that I’d allowed myself to be conned into agreeing to, knowing full well I had no chance of completing it. Are my strings that obvious?

I felt like a batter who had been duped by an inside out curve ball, forced to lean into the pitch, thinking I’m getting out of it’s way.

This was going to hurt.

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