I have a friend who’s into using “suggestion” and it is quite unrelaxing, how do you deal with it?
Question by Don: I have a friend who’s into using “suggestion” and it is quite unrelaxing, how do you deal with it?
It’s a funny thing, because I know they did a course on hypnotherapy or NLP or something, but now whenever they are around instead of enjoying their company, I just have a feeling that I’m noticing they are using an occasional “technique”, some combination of body language, wording, timing etc, but it effects they way I relate to them, it just makes me feel uncomfortable. Kind of like they are trying to control too much. They’ve been a good friend, and I wouldn’t want to loose that, but I just feel confused by them.
How would you deal with this?
Many thanks.
Best answer:
Answer by Theresa
The fact that what your friend is doing makes you feel uncomfortable is completely understandable! It would make any human uncomfortable to be in a situation where they feel controlled either physically or mentally. It sounds like you and this friend are pretty close, and that gives you a big advantage to solving this problem.
Since this person has been a good friend, chances are that he/she will continue to be a good friend when a problem like this arises. So the best thing and first thing you should do is talk to this person. Don’t accuse them by telling them that they are trying to control you. Instead, say something along the lines of “Hey I feel as if there’s a misunderstanding. Can we talk about it?”. If you introduce the issue as a misunderstanding rather than their own fault, then they are more likely to listen. During the course of your conversation, don’t blame them. Use “I feel…” words. Doing this is important when trying to work out an issue because people are more likely to respond if they do not feel threatened or attacked/blamed.
It could well be that your friend is using the skills he/she learned on purpose. Since you described this friend as a good friend, chances are that the person is not doing this to manipulate you but instead to practice what he/she has learned in the course. Or, maybe the friend isn’t even aware that he/she is doing this.
When planning to discuss this with your friend, don’t make it a goal to have them apologize to you. Tell yourself that you will go into the conversation with only one goal in mind which is to bring up the issue. The rest will take care of itself.
Remember to keep an open mind, and say how you feel. Tell the person that you liked the type of friendship you had before they took the course. Tell them that you would love for them to teach you what they learned, but that you would appreciate if they did not use these techniques on you because since you two know each other so well, the power of hypnosis is not needed. Good communication is just as powerful =]
I hope what I said helps you. Good luck!!
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