Without question, Sleight of Mouth Language Patterns are the easiest way to covertly sneak your ideas inside somebody else’s head without any detection whatsoever. When used correctly, they will take your ideas and suggestions as their own, thereby offering no resistance at all. These patterns have been used for everything from sales and seduction to therapeutic belief change and drastically increasing personal resources.

Today’s pattern is a fun one to play with, and is called the “What If Frame.” In this particular reframe, you accept your listeners’s beliefs, and then ask them to imagine what would happen if things were different. Simply by imagining an alternative reality (or what we think of as reality) we can discover untold resources that we didn’t even know existed before.

Before getting into this reframe, a little bit about conditional grammatical structures. (huh?)

Basically there are two types. The first type (first conditionals for all you grammar nerds) is when speaking about an event that is likely to happen, or has a decent chance of happening. This pattern uses “if,” present tense verbs, and the auxiliary verb “will.”

If it rains tonight, I will wear my raincoat.

If I run out of money, I will go to the ATM.

If I eat too much past, I will get gas.

The second type (second conditional for the aforementioned grammar fans) is when something has very little chance of actually happening, or is impossible. This uses “if,” past tense verbs, and the auxiliary verb “would.”

If I saw a UFO, I would grab my camera.

If I ate one million hamburgers, I would be very sick.

If I could slam dunk, I would be very famous.

The reason for bringing this up, is that sometimes using the second conditional is better. Even though few people will consciously discriminate between the first and second conditionals in casual conversation, we pick up on it subconsciously.

When speaking in a “What If” frame mind, using the second conditional can help your listener to fantasize about how things would be if they were different. They will subconsciously pick up that you’re speaking in terms of things that can’t really happen anyway, and they’ll be much more likely go to along with it.

And when they start imagining a different reality, one with much more possibility and resources, their mind will automatically start thinking of ways to get there.

To construct this pattern, simply accept their belief (stated as X causes Y, or X means Y), without arguing, and then playfully talk about how things would be if they were different.

If what things were different? Anything you want. If they didn’t believe that X causes Y, if X caused something else, If X only caused Y in certain circumstances, anything and everything is fine for this. So long as they go along with you in their imagination, this will work like a charm.

Make sure when doing this, not to take on the tone “Yea, if things were different, but they’re not, so we’re stuck.” Try and take on the tone of a little kid who can pretend that some box is a space ship fighting against aliens.

Some examples.

I can’t get a good job because I don’t have a college degree.

Yea, I can see how that’s one way to look at things. But what if you could? What if there were some way that you could start at a job without a college degree, and then work your way up through the system? What if there really were companies that based their promotions and management positions on the actual work that you did? If those companies did exist, how would you find them?

I can’t get a date because I’m overweight.

Yea, lots of people would reject you for that, that’s for sure. But what if there were some people out there who were more concerned with your personality and your ability to communicate and really connect with people? (Notice the presuppositions?) If there were people like that out there, how would you find them, and start a conversation with them? How would you know them if you met them?

I can’t make money because I don’t have very good skills.

Yea, I’m sure it seems that way. But what if you could? What if you already had the skills to make money in some market? If that were true, how would you go about finding them?

I can’t buy your product because it is too expensive.

Yea, a lot of people say that, and I can’t disagree. But what if there were something about this particular product that made you want to buy it regardless of the cost? What if you were to realize that this product/service could help you out so much, it would be worth twice what we’re asking for it? How would you know if that were true?

I can’t learn these patterns because they are too complicated.

Yea, there certainly are a lot of them. But what if there was a way to learn them that made them fun and interesting, some way to imagine how your future would be if you mastered these patterns? How would that make you feel?

I could never use these patterns in real conversation. They’d feel too strange and awkward.

Yea, some of these patterns do sound pretty off the wall. But what if you could use these in a conversation, and nobody would know? What if these were so powerful, that they would send people on an internal search for various new meanings, and they wouldn’t even notice that you said anything strange or different? How cool would that be? How much extra money could you make?

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With the powerful Sleight of Mouth Language Patterns you can easily get inside somebody’s head (without them realizing it) and covertly twist their ideas around to give them a much more resourceful outlook on life. These can be used for destroying limiting beliefs, to drastically improve your sales, and to seduce whomever you please.

Today’s pattern is called the “Both Frame.” The basic idea is that when people express a belief or an objection, it’s set up as either a complex equivalent (X means Y) or a cause and effect (X causes Y). Although often times only one side will be stated, and you’ll have to extract the other side with your intuition based on the context of the conversation.

When people express these statements or ideas, they are usually in an “all or nothing” frame. There is no halfway point. When somebody says that they can’t get a good job because they don’t have a college degree, in their mind they mean that every single job they will get with their education will be a bad one.

If somebody says that being upset makes them eat ice cream, in their mind, anxiety creates one and only one response: Get the bucket of ice cream and the spoon. (Actually that doesn’t sound too bad right now, but I digress).

The idea then is to carefully introduce some kind of “halfway point” so that they have some more responses. When people express an objection or a limiting belief, they are expressing how they are stuck. They have built a rut in their minds, and they can’t think any other way. By introducing more choice, they can experience a new perspective. They can get that, “wow, I never thought of that before” feeling.

To use this conversationally, take the belief or objection at face value, and then wonder out loud about any other possibilities.

Some examples:

I can’t make the basketball team because I’m too short. (ALL assumption = height is the ONLY consideration by the coach).

Is that the first thing the coach checks, is how tall you are? Does he have any other criteria besides height, like teamwork, leadership, hustle, free throw shooting ability, inside shot, outside shot, anything like that?

I can’t get a date because I’m overweight. (All or nothing assumption: Other people only care about weight and physical appearance)

Is that the only consideration people have regarding a potential relationship partner? I read this interesting article in Cosmo that said most people have about three or four different things that are important to them, and being in good physical shape is not the most important.

or

(All or nothing assumption: I can’t talk to anybody because it won’t turn into a relationship)

So you don’t want to talk to anybody and maybe be friends unless you are sure from the first minute that you are after them for a lifelong relationship?

I can’t buy your product, because it’s too expensive.

Do you always only look at the price when considering buying something? Have you ever bought something only because of price and later were disappointed? Does value, desire and expected pleasure from owning this product ever come into consideration?

I can’t learn all these language patterns because they are too difficult.

Do you have to learn all of them in one session? Is it possible to learn one this week, and another one next week? Imagine how powerful and persuasive you’d be six months from now!

I could never use these in a conversation, they would sound too awkward and uncomfortable.

(note: In this situation, the person is likely imagining using them for the first time in a high pressure sales situation, or an important point with an important person, like a boss or significant other, where losing an argument would mean a big deal.)

What would happen if you just playfully used these on Skype with somebody that you didn’t really know that well, when talking about something that didn’t really matter?

or

How does it feel to imagine using these with a practice partner, until you feel confident to start using them with others about inconsequential things, so you can better appreciate how powerful they really are?

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Sleight of Mouth Language Patterns are powerful linguistic phrases and arguments that can easily obliterate any objection and turn a limiting belief on it’s head. They can be used to improve any persuasive conversation from selling cars to seducing the lover of your dreams.

Today’s pattern is called “Metaphor Framing.” This is not a pattern per se, but it can be used to deliver any other pattern in manner that is conversational, non confrontational, and deeply effective on a subconscious level.

There are plenty of different definitions for metaphor. He is a brick house, is a metaphor describing some guy, who happens to be very large, in terms of a house.

The movie, “The Day The Earth Stood Still,” (the original version, at least) was a metaphor for the dangers of the cold war.

If you are a fan of Freud, sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar, if you catch my drift. (Just ask Monica Lewinski).

A metaphor, then, is any kind of language, story, or description, that is used to describe something else, without referring to it directly. It allows us to think about one thing in terms of another.

With these patterns, it allows your listener to try on some different ideas regarding their objection of belief, without really having to confront their objection or belief on a conscious level. Often times the belief merely vanishes.

This is how Milton Erickson did most of his amazing work. He would tell story after story about seemingly meaningless things, but when he was done, is clients problems were solved.

My favorite was a boy that came in because he wet the bed. Erickson told him stories about baseball, where it’s important to squeeze the glove just at the right time in order to catch the ball, as well as release just at the right time when you are throwing to home plate all the way from the outfield.

He also told him stories of big factories and valves and shut off switches.

So how do you use a metaphor with these patterns?

Use any of the other patterns, but talk about something completely different, but within the framework of the particular pattern you’d like to deliver.

For example, somebody says, “I can’t get a date because I’m too fat.”

One possible reframe could be that plenty of other overweight people are in happy relationships.

To put it into a metaphor, or a story, you could remind them of the story of Beauty and the Beast, and the moral that the person inside is more important in the relationship. Or tell some story of an old friend you haven’t seen in a while that was really big, but was always surrounded by attractive members of the opposite sex because he or she had such an outgoing and charming personality.

The important thing is to think of a story, and use a character in your story that is representative of the person you are speaking of. You can either have them take on the same objection, with disastrous results, or explain how they found a way around their obstacle and everybody lived happily ever after.

I can’t get a good job because I don’t have a college degree.

That reminds me of this neighbor I used to have. He was always grumpy and unhappy. Never got married, never had any kids. Said he couldn’t afford them. He said he never was able to make much money because he barely finished high school. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that our other neighbor, who was the same age as him, was a high school drop out and was making six figures in some company where he started in the mail room and worked his way up.

I can’t learn these patterns because they are too difficult.

I’m glad Moses didn’t have that attitude when God charged him with leading the people out of the desert and into the promised land. The world would have been a much different place than it is today. It’s amazing that they were out there for forty years, living on who knows what, and they still made it to their destination.

I can’t use these patterns with others because it would be too awkward.

I wonder what the world would be like today if St. Paul felt that going into the various cities and preaching the Gospel felt too awkward?

or

I remember reading this poem by Rumi, this ancient Sufi poet. I don’t remember the words exactly, but it described the difference between fire and water. Fire seems to harsh and dangerous, but as soon as you step into it, you are in cool, relaxing water. But water, on the other hand, seems to inviting and peaceful on the outside, but once you step into it you are bathed in anguishing fire. I guess his point was that things that seem difficult on the outside are actually pretty useful and easy once you get past them, while things that seem easy and comfortable can keep you stuck in a living hell without hope for escape.

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Sleight of Mouth is without question the most powerful set of linguistic skills to conversationally destroy objections and obliterate limiting beliefs, oftentimes with your listener unaware of what just hit them.

Today’s pattern is called the “Ecology Frame.” Basically it invites the listener to examine whether or not the particular belief or objection is going to be beneficial for them in long run. It’s deceptively simple to generate, and can have some profound effects on your listener.

Most people assume their beliefs and objections are “out there” in reality, and set in stone. Just by speaking of them in terms of useful or not useful, it can create a feeling of choice with respect to their previously rigid beliefs and objections.

Most don’t even consider that they have the option to adjust their beliefs to produce a more resourceful outlook, so this pattern can bring some refreshing introspection in your listeners.

The way to use this pattern is fairly simple. Just take their belief or objection at face value, speak of it in terms of something they’ve chosen, and wonder out loud if it’s helpful or not to continue to believe this.

So let’s take an example, somebody that says, “It’s too hard to get up and exercise every morning.”

(being difficult causes me to not be able to do it)

First of all, accept their belief, but speak about it in “choice” language:

• So you’ve decided that getting and working out is too difficult?
• How long have you felt that way?
• How long since you’ve made that decision?
• Have you always felt that way?
• When did you choose to feel that way?
• What affected this decision?

Then wonder about the future, and how this belief will either help them or hold them back.

That’s interesting. You’ve said before that you want to get in shape, does thinking that it’s too hard to get up in the morning support your goals of fitting into that dress by summer time? If it doesn’t, have yo thought of a different way that will compensate for this?

Simply by speaking of the belief in these terms, and posing the questions this way will force them to think of their beliefs as personal decisions, rather than something imposed on them by the gods above.

This, of course, will give them the mental wiggle room to not only reevaluate their decision, but to start to see beliefs as actual choices that have consequences, rather than arbitrary truths about reality.

A great pattern to use with this is the Criteria and Values pattern. By showing them their chosen belief will give them something other than what they are trying to achieve, it can have a powerful additive effect (like chocolate and peanut butter).

Some more examples.

I can’t get a job because I don’t have a college degree.

Well, obviously you’d like a good job. I wonder if thinking that you need a college degree will help you or hurt you in the long run. Do you feel more positive about your future if you imagine a big roadblock ahead keeping you from the good stuff because of your lack of education? How does your future look if you imagine that you don’t need a college degree to get a good job?

I can’t get a date because I’m overweight.

That’s an interesting way to look at things. If you were at a party, and you saw an attractive person that smiled at you from across the room, does thinking that make it easier or harder to go and talk to them? What would happen if you thought the opposite? Which would you rather choose as your default belief pattern?

I can’t learn these patterns because they are too difficult and complicated.

Yea, lots of people feel that way. Does thinking they are difficult make it seem easier to learn them? I met this guy once that would always decide things were easy to learn before he learned them, so he could learn them easier. He learned a lot, and I’m wondering if that may be a better way to look at things. What do you think?

I could never use these patterns in a normal conversation, it would seem to awkward.

Yea, I can understand that point of view. If you had an opportunity to use one of these patterns, does thinking that it would feel awkward make it seem easier or harder to actually use them? What would happen if you thought it would be fun to use them, how would make you feel?

As The Bard Hath Spake:

“Nothing is good or bad, but our thinking makes it so.”

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Sleight of Mouth Language patterns are little known about but incredibly powerful linguistic tools that you can easily use during normal, everyday conversations with powerful effects. Easily dismantling beliefs and quickly and effectively overcoming objections, these patterns have been used for powerful therapeutic change and incredibly profitable sales techniques.

The focus this article is the “Identity Frame” pattern.

First, a bit about the concept of “identity.”

Many times, most times, we think of ourselves in various tenses of the “be” verb. Functionally, this verb is a linguistic equals sign, equating everything on one side of the equation, with everything on the other.

The simple sentence, “I am happy,” is equating the speaker with the feeling of happiness. Sounds simple and a bit pedantic, but it bears some consideration. Not so bad, but what happens when you don’t do something as well as you’d like, and you say, “I am a failure”? Now it gets a bit trickier. The moment you say that, your subconscious searches our memories and judgments for every other instance that you labeled somebody or something a “failure,” and puts you in that category as well.

Technically speaking, you are nothing. You do things, you think things, you remember things, you feel things, but what you really are is always changing. Even the atoms, molecules and cells that make up your physical body (including the brain you are using to read this and hopefully store some of this information for later use) are always being recycled.

You are a process, a process that is always changing. You can’t be anything.

So how do you use this idea in a conversational reframe?

You could take the two sides of the statement, and equate them as being one in the same. This is similar to the “Allness” frame.

Or you could take whatever belief or objection they are saying, and identify them with that particular belief. It’s a way of showing the person that they really are a lot more resourceful than letting their mind be held captive by some imaginary belief or objection.

For example, somebody says to you “I can’t get a good job because I don’t have a college degree.”

What could you identify about that belief, that the listener wouldn’t particularly like to be identified with?

How about:

• Somebody that lets others determine their potential
• Somebody who allows their future to be determined by a set of exams
• Somebody who only follows what the crowd does without much thought
• Somebody who quietly takes their spot in society and hopes for some table scraps from the big kids

To phrase this, it sometimes helps to assume they are the opposite of that identity, and let them prove it by living up to it. It’s tempting to cop an attitude (Oh, you’re on of those people!) but that only puts them on the defensive, which will strengthen their belief, and destroy your rapport.

What? I didn’t think you were the type that allowed some arbitrary rules set up by society to determine their life. I thought you were the kind of guy who made their own luck and did whatever you wanted despite what the so called “experts” said was best. Since when are you letting a bunch of goofball academics who don’t even know you set some imaginary limit on your career and earning potential?

Some others examples.

I can’t play basketball because I’m too short.

You mean there is some kind of height limit on playing basketball? Do the laws of physics change, making it impossible to make a basket if the ball is shot below a certain elevation?

I can’t get a date because I’m overweight.

So everybody who doesn’t date is fat? And everybody who is fat can’t get a date? That can’t be true, because I see overweight people in relationships all the time. What would happen if you were skinny in a relationship and then got fat? Would it automatically stop? How does that work? Do you each get some kind of post card in the mail telling you it’s over? Who’s in charge of this system, anyway?

I can’t learn these patterns because they are too hard.

I thought you were the kind of person who likes a challenge, especially when learning something can make you a lot of money, and make it easy to have wonderful relationships. You didn’t give up when you started walking, did you? Unless you parents had to hire some kind of personal walking trainer for you when you were a year old…

I could never use these in a real conversation, it would feel too awkward.

Do you really identify yourself as somebody who never tries anything unless it feels totally comfortable the first time? You’re not one of those people that are afraid to leave the house, and have to wash your hands every fifteen seconds are you? (said in an obvious joking manner, after building a lot of rapport).

I can’t buy your product because it costs too much.

I read this article once about an old lady who hated to spend money. She would even sell the daily newspaper after she read it. She died a rich woman, but she wore the same ugly dress every day, and her kids hated her. You’re not like her, are you? (said in joking manner, after building a lot rapport).

(end examples)

Some of these are bit tough to stand by themselves, so in this case it’s a good idea to throw these reframes out jokingly, and then change the subject, and then come back with another pattern or two.

Even when you change the subject, your listener will have at least in part considered the idea of what it’s like to identify themselves with the belief in such a way. When you come back later with a couple more patterns, it will be much more easier to dismantle their belief or objection.

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Sleight of Mouth Language patterns are incredibly useful for not only covertly dismantling limiting beliefs and objections, but also for drastically increasing the resourcefulness of both yourself and whoever you happen to be using them with.

Today’s pattern is called “Have To Framing.” This particular pattern applies some Cartesian logic and invites the holder of the belief or objection to consider other alternatives.

Cartesian logic was created (or so people say) by some super smart French guy named Rene Descartes a few hundred years ago. You might have heard of him. It basically takes a cause/effect statement, or relationship, and expands on it, like so:

Statement: Doing X causes Y

Applying Cartesian mumbo jumbo gets you these questions:

• What else does X cause?
• What else causes Y?
• What doesn’t cause Y?
• Does X ever not cause Y?
• Does X ever cause the opposite of Y?
• Does Y ever happen without X?
• What would happen if you did X?
• What wouldn’t happen if you did X?
• What would happen if you didn’t do X?
• What wouldn’t happen if you didn’t do X?

When you conversationally bring up these questions about a belief or an objection, it’s almost impossible for your listener to maintain that the belief is some set in concrete law of reality from Heaven.

A great way to introduce these questions is by way of presuppositions. You can presuppose that there are other alternatives by asking what evidence they would see if one of the other Cartesian mumbo jumbo logic phrases were correct.

For example, somebody says “Being stressed makes me angry.”

So you have Stress causes anger.

Some Cartesian statements could be:

What else causes you to get angry?
What doesn’t cause you to get angry?
What else does stress cause you to do?
Does stress ever not make you not angry?

And then you could stick them in some presuppositions by asking something like follows:

How do you know when stress doesn’t make you angry?

Even if they look at you with a completely blank or confused look, in order to make sense of that sentence, they’ve got to search through their history and see if there actually are any memories of stress not causing anger. Just by searching, they will subconsciously realize that

stress causes anger

is only true sometimes, not all of the time. When they come to that realization, the belief loosens up a bit, and they’ll realize that there are other things to consider.

To generate this pattern, mull over some questions like:

• Do you have to feel that way?
• What would happen if you didn’t believe that?
• How would you know if that wasn’t true?
• What’s it like when that isn’t true?
• What stops you from believing otherwise?
• What would it look like, sound like, feel like, if the opposite were true?

Merely by asking some well phrased questions will send them into a quick trance as they search their memory. They will likely come up with some contradictory evidence of the belief or objection. This would be a great time to hit them with some other patterns to really fry their circuits, er I mean, share with them some other language patterns to help them become more resourceful.

(And naturally, once their previously held beliefs are swirling around their mind like wisps of imaginary smoke, you can lay on some heavy Milton Model patterns and really have some fun.)

Some more examples you say? Sure. I thought you’d never ask.

I can’t get a good job without a college degree.

How would you know if you really didn’t need a college degree to get a good job?

I can’t find somebody special because I’m overweight.

What’s stopping you from finding somebody special despite your concern with your weight?
What would you feel like if you really could find somebody that would accept you just the way you are?
How would you know if you could find somebody that would accept you just the way you are?

I can’t buy your product because it’s too expensive.

What would have to happen in order for you to be convinced that it really was worth the price?
How would you know once you decided that the high price meant it had exceptional value?
Have you ever bought something specifically because it had a high price?

I can’t learn these language patterns because they are too difficult.

How do you know that you don’t already know most of them?
What will feel like if you did master them?
What’s stopping you from thinking they are easy and fun to learn?

I could never use these patterns in a normal conversation.

What would it feel like if you did, and they worked tremendously?
What’s stopping you?
How would you know if that was gone? (Whatever is stopping them)
How would you know if it was actually really easy to use these in a conversation?

(end examples)

The best way, in my experience, is to be as playful as possible when using these particular patterns. If you try and come across as some super smart person sage your wisdom of enlightenment, it usually doesn’t work. If you come across like some amateur psychotherapist trying to help them discover their hidden power, that usually doesn’t work either.

But if you act like a little kid who just discovered that by twisting the handle on the drugstore gumball machine just right gets you a free gumball, and you’re anxious to try and find other ways to get free gumballs, people will usually play along.

Remember, your job, when people whine, ”But what if doesn’t work,” is to say,

“yea, but what if it does work???”

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When you use Sleight of Mouth Language Patterns, those powerful set of linguistic judo that come from NLP, you avail yourself to an incredibly powerful set of skills with which you can quickly and easily overcome any objection, obliterate any limiting belief, and drastically increase the resourcefulness of both yourself and your listener.

The pattern for today is called “Allness Framing,” and is very useful to quickly kill the idea that the belief or objection is “out there,” like some unbreakable law of reality delivered from heaven. In a round about way, it forces the listener to consider that their belief is completely subjective, and therefore malleable.

Basically, you take their belief, apply it to everybody and everything that ever lived, is living, and will live, and ask them if it really makes sense. They will naturally find that others in their same situation or circumstances have a different take on the same events. Since others have come to the same conclusion they have, perhaps their own belief isn’t as true as they once thought it was.

For example, somebody says they can’t get a date because they are overweight. They likely have an idea in their head that overweight people can’t be found attractive by others. You then casually ask them if all the other overweight people share that same belief. Since they obviously don’t, they are forced to reconsider their reason for not finding a date.

Since losing weight is pretty difficult, it can be a huge barrier to success if you feel that your weight is holding you back. Once you realize it’s not your weight, but something else, then that “whatever else” can be a much easier obstacle to overcome.

In some cases, shifting this one belief can be enough.

For example, if they walked into a social gathering, and had the belief “people don’t find overweight people attractive,” they wouldn’t likely be very sociable, and would have difficulty starting conversations.

But if they walked into a social gathering without that belief, or even the opposite, “plenty of people find overweight people attractive,” it could be much easier for them to start a conversation.

You can also apply the Allness Frame to your listener, but throughout their own lives.

For example, somebody says, “I can’t buy this product, it’s too expensive.”

You can ask them if they’d ever bought something before that was “too expensive,” but as it turned out, that particular thing, whatever it was, was well worth the money.

It may not get you the sale right away, but it will likely bring out what may be the “real objection,” such as product features or something else that you can more easily work with.

Some more examples.

I can’t get a college degree because I didn’t get a scholarship.

You mean nobody who gets a scholarship ever gets a scholarship? Wow, that’s pretty rough. I didn’t know that. Wait a minute, I didn’t get a scholarship and I’m getting a college degree. What exactly are you talking about?

Being stressed forces me to eat a pint of ice cream every night.

Ever since you were a kid you’ve been eating ice cream every single time you get stressed? You mean you have a portable freezer in your car, and every time there’s too much traffic, and you may be late to wherever you are going, you pull out the ice cream and start munching away? That’s pretty ingenious of you! But what happens when you are stressed because there is no more ice cream? What do you do then?

It’s too difficult to lose weight.

Really? Nobody who ever lived has ever lost weight? I wasn’t aware of that. I guess I’d better be careful.

I can’t learn these language patterns, they are too difficult.

If they are too difficult to learn, how did so many books get written about them? Surely those people had to learn them enough to write the books? Maybe they were born knowing all these patterns?

I’ll never be able to use these patterns in a normal conversation, it would seem to weird and unnatural.

So nobody has ever learned a new way to talk? Nobody has ever taken a risk in public or in a social situation? The words that you know now, you knew them right when you were born, and you never went through the natural language learning curve, where you used words incorrectly or strangely? You are a fascinating person. What other talents were you born with?

(end examples)

Be a bit careful with these, as often times when you take away the “out there” hallucination that people hold with their beliefs, they are sometimes forced to confront their own shortcomings.  It can be difficult to accept that other people can do certain things, but you can’t. So people tend to fight tooth and nail to hold on to their “out there” hallucinations about their beliefs.

As with all the other patterns, introduce these conversationally, spaced out enough over time, and allow them to slowly come to their own conclusion about their beliefs.

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When you use Sleight of Mouth Language Patterns, you open up a door to powerful conversational reframing that will allow you to easily and effortlessly overcome any objection and smash any limiting belief with impunity. Never again will you lose an argument or be at a loss for words.

Today’s pattern is called “Values And Criteria Framing,” and is very powerful. First of all, what are values and criteria?

For something specific, like buying a car, a particular criterion may be color, or engine size, or number of seats. For other things like movies, restaurants, housing locations, we all have our own specific criteria based on our own tastes. Personally, I like action movies, Mexican restaurants, and quite neighborhoods, preferably near a school or park.

When we start talking about so called “higher level” criteria, about very important things like life and relationships they start to get very vague.

What’s important to you in a relationship? You’ll likely come up with some descriptions like mutual trust and respect, mutual appreciation, open and honest communication. But what do these terms really mean? How exactly can you measure them. The truth is that you can’t. You can certainly feel when they are true and when they are not. You can certainly see evidence of them. Most of the time you just know if you have them or not.

These are the vague, criteria and values that you can leverage to overcome objections and limiting beliefs.

Whenever you apply these so called “higher level” values and criteria to “lower level” objections or beliefs, they have a tendency to “work downwards,” and effectively re-organize the lower level objection.

For example, somebody buying a product may object that it’s too expensive. What could be some higher level criteria?

Value
Satisfaction
Security

These are hard to define, but are held by most people when they got out shopping for whatever they happen to be looking for. When you apply them to the objection, the objection seems to be much less important.

I can’t buy this product because it’s too expensive.

Yea, I’m sure it feels that way. But when you think about what’s really important, and think about how your decision today will affect your long term satisfaction with whatever product you decide to buy, I wonder if you can’t really see how this product has an incredible amount of value, which can easily give you the security your looking for.

Another example, somebody says that they can’t find a romantic partner because they are overweight.

What are some possible higher level criteria or values?

Connection
Communication
Mutual Respect
Mutual Appreciation

So a possible response may be:

Yea, it does seem tough these days to find “The One.” And when you imagine how wonderful your ideal relationship will be, don’t those feelings of true connection and communication with somebody seem a little bit more important than worrying about a few extra pounds? Isn’t it more important to focus on what’s really important, things like finding mutual respect and appreciation, rather than worrying about the few people who will reject you because of your weight?

How about another:

I can’t learn these patterns because they are too confusing and difficult, let alone use them in a normal conversation.

Yes, learning new things is always difficult, especially when you are learning new ways to communicate with others. What’s really important is how much more resourceful you’ll be once you’ve mastered these patterns, and how you can easily destroy not only your own limiting beliefs, but those of your friends and family as well. And when you think about how useful and effective persuasive communication is in all areas of life, it can make any worries about learning them small in comparison.

A word about criteria.

All of us have a set of criteria that we spend our whole lives trying to fulfill. Whenever you speak with someone regarding their own criteria, treat whatever they say with the utmost respect.

And always use the exact same words they use, with the exact same tonality and emphasis, when describing their own criteria to them. One way these patterns will definitely not work is if you assume you know what their criteria are, and use your assumptions instead of their own information.

This of course requires you set up some rapport, and do some digging to elicit their criteria before you start firing away with these patterns.

You’ll find that when proper rapport, and just a few of their criteria, these particular patterns can be extremely powerful and persuasive.

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Sleight of Mouth language patterns have been used in everything from therapy and sales, to seduction and getting elected (even to President). You can use them in any situation where you find yourself up against a verbal objection, or an expression of limitation based on some model of the world.

Today’s pattern is called “Positive Prior Intention Framing,” and is a bit of a doozy. It may seem a bit presumptuous, as you are assuming you know something about why a person is saying or believing something. But in this case, you are assuming a positive intention, and most people don’t get offended when somebody assumes something about them that’s positive.

The basic structure is like this. Somebody has got this objection, or limitation. That means in their mind, the way they are thinking about something, there is a problem preventing them from getting what they want. Maybe they think they can’t afford a product, or maybe they don’t think they can successfully convince their boss to give them a raise. In their mind, on that particular topic, there is something out of reach, and some big hairy (imaginary) monster keeping them from getting it. Not the best state to be in.

Then you come along, and listen to and understand their (imagined) predicament and come up with a positive reason they have constructed their own predicament. They can mentally step back from the situation, feel more resourceful (as most people will generally agree, at least in part, with the positive assumptions others express about them) and have a much higher likelihood of figuring out their limitation, or coming up with a way around their objection.

Underlying this particular reframes is one of the presuppositions of NLP, namely, that behind every behavior or belief lies a positive intention. People don’t eat too much because they want to get fat, it’s because the food gives them comfort, and seeking comfort is a positive intention. People don’t drop out of college because they want to limit their options, it’s because they fear failure, and avoiding pain is one of the oldest positive intentions of human nature.

To use this conversationally, you’ll need to think of some positive intention, or some possible positive intention behind their stated belief or objection.

• What are they really after?
• What are they protecting themselves from?
• How has this helped them in the past?
• How can this help them now?

Then you phrase in a positive, complimentary way, and carefully show them that they are much more resourceful than they think. Their mood will improve, their outlook will become brighter, and they will discover resources and ideas they hadn’t thought of before (either on their own or with your covert help), and may very well convince themselves of another way around their imagined obstacle or limitation.

Some examples.

Stated limitation:

I can’t get a good job because I don’t have a college degree.

Possible positive intentions:

They want to maintain their safety. They don’t want to compete with others they consider “out of their league.” They want to stay with what’s familiar and known. They don’t want to get in over their head. They don’t want to try, and fail.

Possible conversational reframes:

So you want to get a job that’s stable, I can totally understand that. With today’s economy, focusing on maintaining a stable job is an extremely valuable trait to have. Many employers, in fact, are starting to shift their focus on from people with specific qualifications to those that can really focus and learn on the job, in order to create that stability both for the employee, and the employer. You might consider that when sending out your resumes.

Stated limitation:

I can’t find a romantic partner because I’m overweight.

Positive intentions:

Safety, security, emotional stability.

Reframe:

Sure, I can understand that. Nobody likes being rejected. It seems like more and more people these days are looking for somebody with exactly those characteristics. Somebody that is going to commit to something long term, rather than a short time fling.

Stated limitation:

I can’t learn all these language patterns, they are too difficult and time consuming.

Reframe:

Yea, I can relate. I hate studying all kinds of esoteric knowledge that has very little application. There’s only twenty four hours in the day, and you’ve simply got to decide what’s important and what isn’t. It’s good that you recognize that. Most people don’t. One of the reasons I like these patterns so much is that they make your communication so much more efficient, you don’t have to spend all day trying to convince somebody to do something. Just a few minutes is all you need.

(end examples)

A really good way to practice this pattern is to simply observe people you see. You don’t have to look very hard to see people that are engaged in behaviors and conversations that don’t appear to be very useful or healthy. Instead of judging, simply take a step back and imagine three or four different positive intentions behind their behavior.

Just doing this one exercise, even if you don’t bring it to the level of conversational reframes, has the interesting effect of making the world seem a lot less hostile.

And that can brighten your mood considerably.

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Sleight of Mouth patterns are incredibly useful linguistic tools to defeat any argument, overcome any limiting belief, or quickly smash any verbal objection that comes your way.

These patterns, when used together (there are 24 of them) will make you a linguistic ninja with a variety of tools to assassinate any argument that comes your way. (Nice metaphor, huh?)

Today’s pattern is called “Counter Example Framing”, and is pretty logical and straightforward. It is powerful enough to be used by itself, but when combined with one or two other patterns, you will virtually unstoppable.

In Counter Example Framing, you take the belief or the objection, and simply find examples where it doesn’t hold up. Frequently when people express beliefs or objections, they are framed in a “All or Nothing” structure, as if they are true for everybody all the time.

When you use a couple of counter examples, it can give them a bit of pause, as they start to realize that it’s really their map that is less than useful, and not reality itself.

Like the other patterns, be very careful when using this one, as you need to be careful of proving the other person “wrong.” Carefully suggest some other alternatives, and let your listener mull them over on their own, and come to their own conclusion (the exact conclusion you want them to come to).

Some examples

I can’t find a date because I’m too fat.

Being fat causes no date. (X causes Y)

So simply show some examples in your life, in their life, in other people’s lives where being overweight didn’t cause any problems.

That boy/girl in biology class likes you.
That big girl who works at the ice cream shop has three or four boyfriends/girlfriends.
So nobody who is over a certain weight can ever get a boyfriend/girlfriend?

I don’t have a college degree, so I can’t get a good job.

Yea, just like Bill Gates.
What about all the rich people that lived before they invented colleges, how did they get good jobs?
You had that awesome job in high school, and you didn’t have a college degree then.
Wait, doesn’t your boss not have a college degree?

Going on a diet and losing weight is hard. (X = Y)

Did you hear about that girl who lost 200 pound to win the love of her crush? She said it was the easiest thing she ever did.
People that exercise say that the endorphins created give them the most incredible feelings of pleasure you could ever experience.

Talking to girls is scary and terrifying. (X = Y)

I know this guy that can’t stop talking to girls. In fact, that’s the main reason he can’t keep a girlfriend for very long. He just loves talking to new people. Do you think it’s hard for him?

Your product is too expensive.

I know what you mean. I actually thought the same thing myself, and got a lot of grief from my wife when I first brought it home. But after we realized just how valuable it was, we were very happy that we decided to buy this.

Learning all these language patterns is difficult and tedious.

I read this book from this guy and he said when he realized how much more money he could make in his business with these patterns, he couldn’t wait to finish work so he could go home and practice. He said all he could think about was money and lots of time off from work as he studied these patterns. Now he’s the company president, and he only works about four months out of the year.

(end examples)

A couple of things may happen when you use these patterns. You might destroy their belief altogether, or you may uncover a deeper belief.

For example, the objection “I can’t meet people because I’m overweight” might not really be about being overweight. Being overweight is likely an excuse, and once you destroy the excuse with these patterns, you’ll uncover the real issue.

The other thing that may come up is you may encounter a belief about the world in general, but after reframing it with this particular pattern, the belief may shift to a belief about the person and his or her capabilities.

“Talking to girls is scary,” a global belief, or a belief about talking to girls in general, may shift to “I can’t talk to girls because I’m too scared.” Which is definitely a step in the right direction, because as long as somebody believes something is “out there” in the world, it can’t be changed.

Once you shift something to the personal level, it can easily be overcome with various other techniques. And often enough, when somebody else can do something, it’s a good enough model to work from to increase personal skill.

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Sleight of Mouth patterns have long been known to easily and covertly destroy any argument or limiting belief that you come up against.

First developed for therapy, they have since been used in sales and persuasion of all kinds. When you have a working knowledge of the Sleight of Mouth Language patterns, you will likely never lose an argument again, and never be at a loss when somebody throws up an objection.

Today’s pattern is called “Reflexively Applying To The Listener,” and is very similar in structure to the “Reflexively Apply To Self” pattern. The only difference is that instead of twisting the belief or objection around and throwing it back at the person saying it, you take the belief or objection and use it with your own examples.

As an added twist, you can apply the objection, or limiting belief to the particular conversation you are having, as your own limitation, so the person you are speaking with can see the objection or belief from another point of view.

Kind of like when somebody is wearing a goofy looking hat, only they don’t know it looks goofy until you take it and put it on yourself.

And like the previous pattern, you can either use this on the Internal State, or the External Behavior, whichever is more convenient.

Some examples.

I can’t succeed in business because I don’t have a college degree.

Well, I know a lot of people that are worth millions without college degrees, but since I don’t have one myself, I guess I’m not smart enough to explain to you how they got really rich.

So let me get this straight, If I come up with a brilliant idea for an invention, one that will easily make the manufacturer a billion dollars, they’ll still ask to see my college degree before they even take a look at the idea? I didn’t know that. I’d better give up on my plans then.

Wait, so the promotion I just got at work, despite not having a college degree, is fake? Why would they do something like that?

I can’t talk to girls because it’s too scary.

I’ve got this great method that will make it super easy to talk to girls, but I’m too scared to tell you.

Wait, talking to girls is scary? I’d better break up with my girlfriend then.

Hold on a second, I can’t do anything that scares me? That sucks. I guess I’d better cancel all my dates next week. I didn’t know that. Thanks for telling me. Wanna go hang out at the library or something?

Whenever I get stressed I eat too much junk food.

Hang on, dude, you’re stressing me out, I need a cheeseburger or I’m going to explode.

Really? I get stressed because I eat so much junk food. Does that mean I need to eat more on top of that? I’m gonna need some bigger pants.

Wait, you’re only supposed to eat junk food when you’re stressed? Damn. I’ve been doing it wrong. I usually hit the gym when I’m stressed. I’d better cancel my membership.

Learning all these language patterns is too hard.

You’re right. I’d better give back all those extra sales commissions I’ve been making.

You’re right. Let me call my boss and tell him that I really don’t want that promotion.

You’re right. I’d better call that model that’s way out of my league, and tell her that our date for next weekend is off. Wanna go hang out at the library or something? I hear they’ve a new fishing magazine.

I can’t buy your product, it’s too expensive.

Yea, it is pretty expensive. I don’t know what’s wrong with all those people that make less money than you that keep on buying it. Maybe they’re bad at math or something.

That’s true. I just hope the people that buy your products feel the same way, otherwise we’d both be out of business.

Yea, I agree, but please don’t tell anybody else. Otherwise I won’t be able to sell as many as I do to people just like you.

(end examples)

Because you are taking the belief on temporarily yourself, you are a lot less likely to offend the other person, so these are pretty good to use in any given situation. Just be careful you don’t go too far, otherwise they’ll think you are mocking them or something.

Just keep it light, and obviously humorous, and these should work pretty well. If you start off with this particular pattern, and then follow it up with one or two more, it should go a long way to completely disintegrating the belief of your listener.

Have fun!

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Sleight of Mouth language patterns are incredibly effective in overcoming objections, turning big issues into non issues, and covertly removing limiting beliefs in yourself or others.

Today’s pattern is called “Reflexively Apply to Self.” Since that definition is about as clear as mud, let’s take a closer look.

In this, the “Self” is the person saying or expressing the objection, belief, or argument that you’d like to easily demolish with your linguistic Jedi skills.

And the thing you apply, is their own stated belief. This creates a kind of infinite feedback loop,and sometimes is enough to break the pattern.

When I was a kid, my Dad bought this video camera. You could plug it into the TV, so you could see on TV what you were filming. If you pointed the camera at the TV, you saw an endless stream of smaller and smaller TVs going off into infinity. This is what this pattern will do to the mind of your listener.

So basically, the idea is to take whatever belief they say, and apply that same thinking right back at the belief itself.

For example, if the person says something like:

I don’t have a college degree, so I can never get a good job.

The belief is not having some kind of certificate or training, and that being a limitation of obtaining something deemed worthy and valuable (e.g. a job).

So to throw it back at the belief, you might say something like:

Did you need any special training or courses to come up with that belief? Or did you decide that without any professional assistance?

Or even more abstract:

Did that belief need a college degree to be true and shape the way you look at things, or did it just decide to do that without any “official” approval from some accredited belief creation review board?

Or if somebody says:

I can’t afford your product, it’s too expensive. (Expensive product means I can’t buy it.)

How expensive do you think it is to limit yourself to products based on a cursory review of their immediate benefits without taking a look at the long term value?

Was it affordable to buy that belief that seems to be controlling what you can or can’t do?

Or if somebody says:

I’ll never find true love, I’m just not an interesting person. (Me not being interesting means nobody will ever truly love me.)

Did that belief need to be interesting in order for it to convince you of it’s truth?

Do you truly love that belief enough to let it go, so you can share your uninterestingness with others?

That belief sure isn’t interesting, yet look how much you are attached to it!

Or if somebody says:

My parents were always poor, so I’ll be poor myself.

That belief doesn’t sound like it’s worth very much.

Is being poor very valuable to you?

Did that belief’s parents share similar outlooks as it, or were they completely different?

Keep in mind these particular reframes aren’t particularly logical, and sometimes don’t make a lot of sense. The way they work is by getting the listener to take something that perceived as solid, and written everlastingly in stone to pause and say, “Huh, wait, wha?”

This is often enough to show that their belief isn’t as rock solid as they thought it was. This can either be enough to let the belief or objection die a natural death, or to leave the door wide open for you to throw in some other patterns that can continue to weaken and eventually destroy this old belief or objection.

Usually, it’s best to just keep on talking while you get them in the “wait, huh?” state of mind. Otherwise they might circle their wagons around their belief and dig in for a protracted siege. This will have the opposite effect, as people’s beliefs are strengthened whenever they defend them.

Also, keep in mind to be very careful to not make your listener feel as though you are putting them on the spot, or using their own words or beliefs to insult them. There’s a fine line between coming from a point of curiosity, where you show your listeners beliefs to them in a new and interesting way, and taking them and throwing them back in their faces.

The first way works well, the second only works to make enemies, so be careful.

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Most people, when they come up across an obstacle, or even worse, an objection, quickly fold and give up. Some try for the “hard sell” and continue to hammer away with the same statements (albeit slightly reworded) over and over hoping their poor listener will somehow change their mind, if only to shut them up.

But you, Dear Reader, will soon have the skills to not only overcome and literally obliterate any objection that comes up, but to deliver them in such a way that it will be the listener themselves that decides on the new way of thinking, often times without even suspecting it was you that loosened up their mind, allowing for new beliefs to get in there in the first place..

This is the power of the Sleight of Mouth patterns, the third of which is described in this here article.

The pattern for today is called “Reframing External Behavior,” and is a favorite of politicians. I’m sure you’ll begin to recognize it more and more after you get familiar with it.

Many beliefs, as expressed in the linguistic formulas of cause/effect and complex equivalent, are made up of an Internal State, and an External Behavior. Usually expressed like so:

• Internal State causes External Behavior

• External Behavior causes Internal State

• Internal State is (=) External Behavior

The trick is to take the External Behavior, and show that it means something other (and hopefully more beneficial) than the limitation that your listener thinks it does.

Let’s say your friend says:

“I’m not good at sports, so I don’t want to play.” To translate into an easy to disassemble cause and effect we get:

“I’m no good at sports so I won’t enjoy playing.”

So to reframe the “External Behavior,” or not enjoying playing, you might suggest to them that it’s not how well they do that brings pleasure from playing sports, it’s merely the competition.

How about another one: (External Behavior = EB)

Not getting a raise means my boss doesn’t like me. (EB = not getting a raise)

To reframe the External Behavior (boss doesn’t like me) you might say that your boss not liking you would be firing you, or something worse. Or you might suggest some other reasons they didn’t get the raise. Reasons that are beyond the boss’ control.

I gained ten kilos, that means I’m a loser. (EB = gaining weight)

Gaining ten kilos doesn’t mean you’re a loser, it is evidence that you are highly skilled at changing your body weight. All you need to do now is to put in the effort to change it in the other direction.

Making money is difficult. (EB = making money)

Making money is easy, just take a look at all the rich people there are in the world. In fact, there are many more rich people today than there were a hundred years ago.

Your product is too expensive, I can’t afford it. (EB = expensive product)

It’s not too expensive, it offers an incredible amount of value that will actually save you money in the long run compared to our competitor. Especially when you consider that you get free upgrades for life, something that no other company can offer.

My long commute every morning leaves me angry and frustrated when I arrive at work.(EB = long commute)

Actually, your long commute is a perfect time to listen to books on tape, or other self development CD programs that can drastically enhance your earning potential. This will make you more marketable, as well as allow you to earn a hire income so that you can live and work wherever you want.

Learning all these new language patterns takes too much effort. (EB = learning new language patterns)

Actually, learning these language patterns will give you an incredible edge in any area of life, allowing you to easily earn more money, become astoundingly persuasive, and gain substantially more personal power, which in the long run will save you much more effort than had you not taken the time to learn these unbelievably powerful patterns.

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If you’d like to develop irresistible skills of destroying any objection that comes your way or conversationally dismantling any limiting belief in yourself and others, keep reading.

This is a continuation in a series on the Sleight Of Mouth Patterns, which when used together can give you incredible skills of linguistic acrobatics, easily allowing you to carefully and respectfully dismantle any argument that is presented to you.

Today’s pattern is the Sequencing Strategy, and is very similar to the Chunking Down strategy. In with this strategy, you carefully walk with the other person through their map of the world to uncover exactly how they come across the belief, and what ingredients are put in, and in what order.

For example, if you were to ask somebody how to bake a cake, they’d give you a recipe, which is basically a sequential list of instructions together with a list of ingredients.

With this sleight of mouth strategy, you simply do the same thing with their belief. It’s important to keep in mind that with this particular strategy, all you’re doing is information gathering. The fun stuff like re-framing and out-framing and counter-framing comes later.

This is just to get a handle on the exact mental recipe they use to construct the belief. Needless to say, this requires a great deal of rapport. People are very defensive when it comes to their beliefs, even if they are beliefs that they admit that they’d like to change. It’s very difficult for most people to separate themselves from their beliefs. So when you attempt to dismantle their beliefs, it’s easy to take it very personally.

One way to do this is to become incredibly curious. Ask them how they know the belief is true, or how the belief comes up. For example, you can have a belief that “Dogs are dangerous,” but you don’t go around every day constantly thinking that dogs are dangerous. This particular belief only becomes operational when you run across a dog.

So get them to imagine a time when the belief was real. How did it feel? Where did they feel it? How did the feeling start? Was it sudden, or did it grow slowly? What external sensory information did they see or hear that triggered the belief?

For example, somebody might say that they can’t speak in public. Digging a little bit further through friendly conversation, you might uncover the following complex equivalents:

Speaking in Public is (=) Dangerous.

or

Public Speaking = Danger

So find out when do they feel that that belief is true? While watching people speak on TV? If something was dangerous then it may be scary to watch. Maybe it begins when they imagine themselves speaking. Then they may bring up a memory they had in third grade when they forgot a school speech and everybody laughed. Then they might remember losing a debate in college on the debate club.

These memories might create a tight sensation in their stomach, which may remind them of all the other times they were nervous and afraid. All this added together makes up a recipe for:

Public Speaking = Danger

Try to get them to describe it so that you can experience the same thing. Go through it with them, do whatever they do, and imagine and feel whatever they imagine and feel. If they recall a miserable time during show and tell in first grade, come up with your memory that is the closest match.

You’ll find that often times, this is enough to at least loosen the belief up so it doesn’t have as much power. Most people, when stating beliefs, think of them in terms of “out there.” When you get them to go through how the belief exerts its power, step by step, they sometimes get the idea (on their own of course) that they themselves are creating the belief.

When that happens, your work is done.

However, there are plenty more patterns you can use to completely obliterate any belief for good.

Stay tuned.

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This article is one in a series of training modules on Sleight of Mouth, an extraordinarily powerful set of linguistic tools that you can easily use to quickly defeat any argument, destroy any limiting belief in yourself or others, and overcome any imagined obstacle or objection that you come across.

In short, these language pattern will give you a tenth degree black belt in verbal Judo.

There are 24 patterns in all, and today’s pattern is called “Specificity,” or “Chunking Down.” This pattern won’t usually work on its own (although it does on occasion), but it is very powerful in ‘loosening up’ the mind of your listener, and give you some mental wiggle room to get in their and move ideas and beliefs around.

The basic structure is to ask questions in order to elicit more specific elements of the belief. Recall that these need to be in the form of “X causes Y,” or “X means Y” in order for these patterns to be most effective. It can sometimes be tricky to tease these out of your listener, especially if you are covertly or conversationally changing their beliefs.

Let’s look at some examples. Say a friend of yours says something like, “I don’t have a college degree. I’ll never get good job.” Or more likely, you will on the subject of high paying jobs, and they’ll simply say “Yea, but I don’t have a college degree.”

The implied complex equivalent, (X means Y) is:

Not having a college degree means ( = ) getting a decent job is impossible.

First of all, notice that the statement is framed as an established truth , and not only for the individual(e.g. getting a job is impossible, vs. I can’t get a job). This takes the pressure of him or her, and makes it a little bit easier to look at this belief more objectively.

In order to get more specific, (or to “chunk down” to use NLP lingo) simply ask questions for more details. Questions like:

• What degrees do you need?
• What jobs require what degrees?
• What kind of degrees? (Bachelors, Masters, PhD)
• What exactly is a decent job?
• How exactly do you know this?
• What information did you use to come to this conclusion?
• If I had to come up with the same belief, what would I have to imagine? What part of my past would I have to remember?
• Did somebody tell you this?
• Did you read about this somewhere?
• How exactly did you come to believe this?
• What age group does this hold true for?
• How do you know this is true? What pictures, sounds, feelings do you generate?
• Could you teach me how to reproduce those same exact sounds, feelings, etc?

This sounds like you’d be giving the person the third degree, so it’s best to ask these from a frame of genuine curiosity. As if you find the idea intriguing, but you haven’t made up your mind yet.

If you sound at all confrontational, or as if you’ve already made up your mind, the other person will shut down and go into defensive mode fairly quickly. To see this in action, go to any online forum, and hunt around until you find somebody expressing a limiting belief like this.

If you show up unannounced, and start firing off questions like the above, you’ll make an enemy real quick.

The trick is to ask the questions, and show no indication that you think the answers are right or wrong, or silly. Remain neutral, and curious. The idea is to expand the other persons idea of their own belief while feeling safe enough to talk about it.

Sometimes, if you can develop enough rapport, and refrain from ‘proving the person wrong,’ this can go to great lengths to weaken the belief so that it dies a natural death later on.

The most fundamental thing to keep in mind when using these patterns is to let go of any need to “take credit” for changing the persons belief. Your goal should be to covertly convince them to change their belief on their own, and honestly believe it was due to their own skills of introspection.

Your mission, then, if you choose to accept it, is to find some heavily trafficked forums regarding touchy issues (loveshack is a great one) and get some practice getting people to get more specific about their beliefs.

Just realize that more often than not, you’ll get a “Who the HELL are YOU?!” response. That’s OK. In this stage of your learning, it’s sufficient to just get a handle on the operational use of these patterns. Once you are more fluent with them, you can go back and practice using them with more elegance and finesse.

Have fun.

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You’re about to learn a set of skills that can instantaneously and obliterate any argument that comes your way, any objection that gets thrown up during a conversation, and any verbal obstacle you find in your path.

These verbal skills are so powerful that you will never lose an argument again, and if you happen to be in sales, you can easily double your closing percentages. They are a small subsection of NLP Language skills, skills that have been developed over the past several years for therapy, sales, and persuasion.

Namely, these are the Sleight Of Mouth NLP Language Patterns. When combined with Linguistic Presuppositions, and the Milton Model, they will give you irresistible powers of persuasion in any situation.

The basic premise behind the power of these skills is that any argument is in the from of either a “Complex Equivalent,” or a “Cause Effect” statement. If you haven’t watched the learning modules on the Milton Model, it would be a good idea to do so before you dive into these.

If you’re chomping at the bit to get to some powerfully persuasive language patterns that can easily destroy any argument, here’s a brief summary.

A complex equivalent is any statement that can be expressed as “X means Y,” or “X is Y.” Think of them as a linguistic equation, with one idea on one side of the equation, another idea on the other side, with the “is,” “means,” “implies,” etc. as the equals sign.

Anytime somebody expresses a limitation in that format, it is ripe for verbal destruction. If you are in sales, that means more money. If you are in a relationship, that means closer and more intimate communication, as you will drastically reduce the self imposed limitations in your partner. (And yourself,for that matter.)

A cause/effect statement is anything stated in the from “X causes Y,” or “X leads to Y,” or “X makes Y happen,” or any variation.

Being able to understand these in everyday speech is critical, and not as easy as it sounds. Most people will only express one half the equation, and you’ve go to be able to extract the other half from the context of the conversation.

You’ve also got to be very careful how you deliver these, as most people will become very defensive of their beliefs, and that’s what you’ll be destroying in many cases. When somebody feels their beliefs are under attack, they can take very personally. If you’re not careful, you can ruin any rapport you’ve developed and quickly find the opposite of your outcome coming true.

There are a total of 22 patterns, and in each subsequent post you’ll learn a new one. Take your time, and soak these up one by one. Once you start to learn these patterns, you ears will hear a whole new level of verbal communication, and you will begin to feel incredibly powerful with your language.

Most people, when they speak, simply blurt out a bunch of words, and hope they make sense. By combining presuppositions, the Milton Model, and now these virtually indestructible sleight of mouth patterns, you will be a force to be reckoned with. A Jedi Knight of Communication.

You’ll be amazed how horrible politicians are at getting their point across once you learn just a few of these patterns. While politicians have been known to use a few sleight of mouth patterns (whether they know it or not) they usually only use one or two familiar ones, and they quickly become ineffective, since they use them over and over again.

Your first assignment, should you choose to accept it, is tune your ears to pick up both complex equivalent statements, and cause/effect statements. TV programs, casual conversations with your friends, YouTube videos, or even politician speeches and TV news discussion shows.

Once you get the hang of picking them, up, take your time going through the following posts so you can learn how to dismantle any limiting belief or objection that comes your way.

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The Milton Model is likely the most persuasive set of language patterns every designed, and can go a long ways in drastically increasing your influence and charisma in almost any situation.

But like with any tool, these can be misused. They were designed to be used in a therapy setting, where the listener was there explicitly to get rid of some kind of emotional problem. So they were very open to listening to the words of a powerful therapist to induce positive personal change.

But what happens when you are on the receiving end of these, and you feel as though you are being persuaded against your will? What happens when you are somewhat interested in buying product, but you really haven’t made up your mind yet? Is there a way to defend against them so you don’t go home with a product (or person) that you otherwise wouldn’t have?

Yes there is. The antidote to the Milton Model is the Meta Model. The Meta Model asks for specifics where the Milton Model is vague.

The Meta Model is a fantastic tool to get clarity in any situation where there is vagueness, but in this post we’ll look at it solely as an antidote for the Milton Model.

Anytime you hear a vague statement, there is something left out according to:

Who
When
How
Why
What
Which
Where

So all you need to do is to ask for specifics along these lines. Let’s go through some examples, along the lines of “dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market.”

Milton Model:

Many people believe that dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market.

Meta Model:

Which people? How did they come to that conclusion? What other methods did they try?

Milton Model:

It has been proven for many years that dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market.

Meta Model:

Proven how? By what methods? Proven by who? Against what standards? How many years?

Milton Model:

You can make money with dollar cost averaging.

Meta Model:

How much money? How long will it take? Has anyone ever lost money using dollar cost averaging?

Milton Model:

The more you study dollar cost averaging, the easier you’ll make money.

Meta Model:

Is there any other way to make money other than dollar cost averaging?
Has anyone made money in dollar cost averaging without studying?
Has anyone studied dollar cost averaging and lost money?

The basic structure of the Meta Model is to pinpoint whatever is vague, or whatever is left out, and ask for specifics. A fantastic way to get used to doing this is listen to any political speech, or read any Op/Ed piece in the newspaper or online, and see how many vague statement there are.

A vague statement, a statement that doesn’t specify the why, how, who, when, etc, is usually referred to a Meta Model violation. You’ll soon find that politicians, marketers, preachers, and persuaders or all kinds make their living through Meta Model violations.

Just be careful, though. While the Meta Model is a fantastic tool for uncovering specific information, it can be incredibly confrontational. Use caution when using it, and try not to use it on your friends. Only on salespeople you’d like to go away in hurry.

To see how antagonistic this is, go to any online forum where religion or politics is being discussed, and call out any Meta Model violations you see, from both sides of the argument. You’ll soon be the most hated member of the forum.

Most often, people use vague language not because they are consciously using the Milton Model for persuasion and influence, but because they really aren’t sure how to back up their opinions with facts or information. So when you use the Meta Model, most people will take it as a personal attack.

However, in other situations, when having an argument with a close friend or partner, the Meta Model, when used with kindness and compassion can be a great tool to find out what the problems or issues really are, so you can work through them and improve your relationship.

More information on how to use it in a positive light will be treated in a different post.

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The Milton Model is widely recognized as the most comprehensive set of language patterns that you can use in your daily conversations for powerful influence and persuasion.

Today’s pattern is called “Compound Suggestions.” It’s a great way to “sneak” a suggestion past the conscious critic of your listener, so that automatically take it as true without question.

The way to construct it is to make a statement, either by itself or set up with one or more other language patterns, and then follow it up with a statement that is going to be automatically perceived as true.

These true statements can be general truths, specific truths about the listener that you’ve already verified, or tag questions.

While the listener is unconsciously, (or consciously) pondering the first suggestion, you quickly make the second, obviously true statement. The truth of the second statement will bleed over to the first statement and will make it much easier for the listener to accept as true.

Some examples.

Exercise is the best way to lose weight, and staying healthy is important.

Here, “exercise is the best way to lose weight,” is the persuasive message, while “staying healthy is important,” is the general truth.

Dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market, and having enough money is very important.

So the persuasive idea is “dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market,” and “having enough money is important,” is the generally true statement.

To make this even more powerful, you can dress up your persuasive statements with as many other language patterns as you like, just so long as you finish your statement with something that is true.

Back to the “exercise is the best way to lose weight” example:

Many people have discovered that exercise is the best way to lose weight not only because it’s the most effective, but also because you don’t have to worry so much about counting calories or any other of that stuff. And being in shape is really important.

Idea = dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market.

Expert money manager that have been around for a long time keep coming back again and again to the simple truth that basic, dollar cost averaging is the best and easiest way to make money in the stock market. And having enough money in your future is important, isn’t?

More and more people are starting to discover that by not only reading this blog on a daily basis, but also sharing it with others through the various bookmarking services available can drastically increase your ability to influence and persuade others, giving you the skills to increase your income and be more charismatic. And it’s good to improve yourself, isn’t it?

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The Milton Model set of language patterns is a fantastic communication strategy that can easily skyrocket your persuasion and influence. Usually referred to as covert hypnosis, it’s a great way to capture and lead the imagination of your listener or audience.

Today’s pattern is called “Building Excitement and Expectation,” and works similar to the way good TV shows leave you “hanging” at the end, so you have to tune in next week.

The basic structure of this pattern is to begin to communicate an idea, and then leave the idea only half spoken. This will generate a great deal of expectation in the listener, as most people loathe unresolved issues on many levels.

There have been a few studies regarding this phenomenon comparing short-term memory and these “open loops,” and they have indicated that short-term memory is significantly boosted when a loop is left open.

Waiters and waitresses were able to remember a vast array of information regarding tables that weren’t “complete” yet, but when the guests finished eating and paid their bill, all of their information was quickly dropped into the subconscious of the waiter or waitress.

There are several ways to create this effect in your listener.

One way is to leave pauses where you normally wouldn’t expect them. People normally put in pauses where they would usually put a period or a comma in a sentence. When you insert pauses in the middle of a sentence, it creates a great deal of interest and expectation in your listeners.

Consider these sentences.

Yesterday, I saw an airplane.
Today, I went to the store.
Last night, I ate spaghetti.

Pretty boring, right? When spoken, most people would put the pauses where the commas are. But consider how they wound when you put the pause between the verb and the noun:

Yesterday, I saw ….an airplane.
Today, I went to ….. the store.
Last night, I ate…..spaghetti.

If you were speaking to somebody, they would automatically pay more attention during the pause.

Another way to do this is to begin telling a story, leading up to a strange or interesting punch line, and then switch before you get there, and tell another story. This is particularly useful when you build up to your punch line with many tension-building adjectives (amazing, fantastic, strange, unbelievable, etc) and say them with a lot of congruence.

For example: (the italicized words are said with increased enthusiasm)

The other day I went into this bookshop. From the outside, it looked like any normal bookstore. But when I went in, man, was I surprised. The stuff they had in there was absolutely amazing, I mean I’d never seen anything like it anywhere. I kind of felt like I was a kid, and I went to the circus for the first time. I didn’t really know what to expect. I mean I knew there was going to be clowns and stuff there, but I had no idea they would have lion tamers, and people doing flips around up in the sky. I was absolutely spellbound the entire time. Ever since then I’d always like the circus….

(end example)

If you’ve ever seen a really good public speaker, somebody that makes a living at it (like any famous comedian) they leave “open loops” like this all through their routine. And when they start to finish up, they simply start closing the loops.

You can leave as many loops as you want, the more the better. When you combine these three:

Effective pauses

Tension building adjectives

Open loops

You’ll go a long way to captivating the attention of almost any audience. And being able to hold the attention of five or six people at party or social gathering is a fantastic skill to have.

To learn many more fantastic skills, check back here often, and please share this site with others.

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The Milton Model set of language patterns and communication strategies is a wonderful set of tools that you can use in virtually any situation where normal conversation is appropriate.

Today’s pattern, “Utilization,” is particularly powerful for many reasons. The basic structure of the utilization pattern, or strategy, is to take whatever information you can get from your listeners or readers, and simply agree with it, validate it, and use it in your conversation in such a way that it supports your idea or suggested course of action.

One of the reasons it’s so powerful it is completely opposite of what traditional persuasion and sales teaches. Old school persuasion and rhetoric teaches to build a strong case on logic, and hammer your listener with so many facts and figures that they have no choice but to agree with you.

Or worse yet is the “hard sell,” where you hammer your poor client with so much enthusiasm and veiled threats and insults (are you smart enough to buy this product? Are you rich enough to buy this product? Do you have the courage to buy this product?) that leave you with an “icky” feeling even if you do buy the product.

When you use utilization, you take whatever your listener or potential client is doing or saying, and agree with it completely, and let them know you totally understand and respect where they’re coming from, and then fold their statements or actions into your “story” and use it to support your case.

A couple of examples.

You are talking to somebody at a party for the first time, and they are showing all the classic signs of disinterest (turning their body away from you, giving you short answers to your questions, making brief but fleeing eye contact with you).

Most people would get discouraged, but since you are learning the secrets of conversational hypnosis and covert persuasion, you may say something like this:

Yea, I know. You’re not that interested in talking to me. That is totally cool. I hate it when you’re at parties and some goof comes up and starts talking to you, and you’re just have to be polite until they leave. It’s like some people just can’t take a hint. (You can point at yourself when you say this.) They just can’t tell that you’re not really interested. It’s like when my sister met her husband. He just kept talking to her, and wouldn’t leave her alone. At first she didn’t really acknowledge him standing there, and finally she figured if she talked to him a little bit he’d go away (you can point to yourself again at this point.) But then when they started talking, she started getting more and more interested in this guy (point to yourself again here), and they started dating, and that was pretty much that. This was about ten years ago, and now they have three kids. Which I have to baby-sit. Little savages. Do you like kids?

(end example)

Or if you are giving a sales presentation, and you can tell you client is not quite ready to by. You ask what they think of you’re product, and they say it’s too expensive, (which usually means they can’t appreciate the value).

Yea, I agree this product is really expensive. It’s definitely more expensive than our competitor’s product. I’ve heard lots of people tell me that, and to tell you the truth, if I were in there shoes, I don’t know if I’d buy this product either, if I only knew what I’d told you so far. But some of our other clients, when they find out about some more benefits that you really don’t notice until you imagine using this product for a year or so, and then they start to really see how this product can really help you. And most of them when they combine that information with all of our extremely flexible payment plans slowly realize that this is valuable far beyond what price you’ll pay for it. And several of our customers from years ago who initially thought it was too expensive are some of our biggest fans now, and consistently give us referrals.

(end example)

You can also use this pattern, or strategy in sales copy. You’ll need to figure out what some common objections there are for your particular product or industry, and then pace them, agree with them, and then turn them around so that they support the idea of purchasing your product.

This can be particularly powerful, and significantly increase your sales, if you place these “utilizations” within your sales copy right about where the objections start to crop up.

One way to do this is through customer testimonies. Simply do a poll of satisfied customers, and ask for specific feedback regarding certain objections. How they think of the product now vs. how they thought of it before they bought it. How the product is performing compared to what their expectations are, etc.

If your readers can see real testimony from real customers that show they had the same concerns before buying, yet are now happy and satisfied customers, that can go a long way toward increasing your sales.

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Today’s Milton Model pattern, that fantastic set of language patterns that you can easily use to persuade and influence others, is called “Covering All Ranges Of Possibilities.”

This pattern is great because it does a couple of things. It gives your listener, or reader a great deal of choice, so it never feels like they are being pressured into anything. The good news for you is that all choices will lead to your outcome, so this pattern can create a true win-win scenario.

Similar to the “Double Bind” pattern, this one gives several choices leading to the same outcome.

Do you want pay in cash?

Not so good

Do you want to pay in cash or credit?

Better, double bind, either choice leads to your outcome.

Well, we have many different ways for you to make this product yours. Some of our customers prefer to pay directly with cash, while others can use credit, either their own, or through our finance department, which has very competitive rates. Others can choose our six or twelve month installment plan, which allows you to take the product home today with only a few dollars deposit. Which one sounds easiest to you?

The idea is that, hopefully, somewhere in all those choices is something your listener will think is easy and automatic. The thing about giving people choices is that everybody has their own background and preferences, so what may seem like an easy choice to one particular person, may not be so easy or acceptable to the next person.

So it pays to think ahead of time how to phrase your ideas so that your listener can have as many things to choose from as possible. One thing people like is choice, and nobody likes having choices or options taken away. The more choices you give your listener, the better.

Another thing to consider is that your listener may really want to believe what you are saying, or take the action that you are suggesting, but perhaps they’ve never experienced anything like this before, and nothing in their history is giving them any idea of how to proceed. By giving them so many choices, you are helping to make it easy for them.

A couple more examples.

You want to persuade your friend to start exercising.

I just read this article in a fitness magazine, and they were saying how exercise really is the most important thing for consistent health and weight loss. And it got me thinking of all the different was you could exercise. I mean, some people get up early in the morning and go for walk, others get up and do some kind of body weight exercises. If you drive around here at lunchtime you’ll see lots of people out jogging on their lunch break. Many others go to the gym and squeeze in a workout on their lunch break. I even talked tot his one guy who said that instead of taking the elevator up to his office every day, he walks up eight flights of stairs.
Of course you can always do some walking at night, or stop by the gym on the way home.

(end example)

You want to go to dinner, but you’re not sure if your spouse/partner will want to.

When I was driving home from work today, I saw a bunch of people lined up outside that Mexican restaurant over on Fifth Street. I got me thinking how many restaurants and eateries there are where we live. I mean, there’s gotta be at least ten Italian places around here, and three or four Mexican restaurants. Not to mention all the Chinese food places and Sushi shops all over the place. They even have those ready made salads at the supermarket that you can eat on those tables they have set up for that. Which place sounds good for dinner tonight?

(end example)

There’s been plenty of research that indicates that the more choices people have (up to a point) the easier it will be to make a decision.

So, now, you can either use this information to help other people to decide, or you can simply use it to increase your sales if you happen to be in sales, or you could even try this online in Internet forums and see how much more persuasive you’d become. You could even use this pattern at parties with your friends, and see how much more charismatic you become when you’re using these patterns on a regular basis.

It’s up to you.

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The Milton Model is a powerful set of language patterns and communication strategies that can powerfully boost your communication skills so that you can easily and conversationally persuade others.

Today’s pattern is one of my favorites (and a favorite of many others) because it is both very simple, and very powerful. It doesn’t require a lot of practice before you can use this conversationally with your friends.

The pattern is called “Embedded Commands,” and is just like the name says. You can a command phrase, and embed it inside of a longer sentence. When done correctly, it will be taken as a direct command by the subconscious of your listener and will have a dramatic influential effect.

First off, what is a command? In terms of English Grammar it is an imperative. The first word must be a verb, and should be followed by no more than three other words.

Some examples:

Eat dinner.
Sit down.
Watch my cat.
Buy my product.
Become interested.
Like me.
Agree with me.
Find this useful.

In order for a command to be said correctly, you should say it with a downward tone. Flat tones are for statements, phrases ending in upward tones are for questions, and phrases ending in downward tones are for commands.

Then you take your command, and put it in a sentence. The great thing about this is that the sentence can be about anything. You can talk about something else, and throw the command in there, like so (the bold part is the command):

My friend says that when he decides to sit down and read the paper, he enjoys eating breakfast at the same time.

When you’re ready to eat dinner, let me know and I’ll order a pizza.

Some people when they come into this shop, they are so impressed that they decide to buy my product right away, others not so fast.

The other day I was shopping for a computer just like this, and the salesperson looked me and told me how easy it was to become interested in these computers because they have so many useful features.

Also, it helps to mark them off with something other than simple tonality. You a pause slightly before and after the command phrase, you can tilt your head slightly (as Milton Erickson was known to do) when saying the command phrase. You can keep a certain hand gesture reserved for when you do command phrases.

The key is to be consistent with how you mark out these command phrases. That way the listeners subconscious will see a pattern, and they will be much more effective.

A good strategy for using these commands is to chain them. Think of what the situation will be when you first start talking to somebody, and think of what the eventual outcome you’d like, that is, think of what action you’d like them to take after your conversation. Then build a chain of commands starting with something easy to do, like “sit down,” and slowly lead to the final command, like “buy this product,” or “subscribe to my video,” or “give me your number.”

For example (at a sales meeting):

Please, come in. You can sit down in that chair over there, or this one. I know, I have all these different magazines here. Some people need to read them and relax before they get comfortable, it gives them an easy way to relax, so they can think about what they want to do. I’ve been in this business a long time, and every potential customer is different. Some people come in here as a first stop, others come in when they are ready to make a decision. It’s interesting, though, that most people find a way to become curious about our products, because they can be used for so many things. And I’ve found that some people after they get curious, they really start to like our products. Of course those that were already able to make a decision are usually ready to buy today. But like I said, every customer is different. If you want to buy today, that’s great, I just want to make sure you feel comfortable, so that you can make the right decision, now.

(end example)

A great way to practice this is to take any text, newspaper, novel, advertisement, whatever, and underline or highlight all the phrases that are in the command form, and that are four words or less. Then simply read through the text, out loud, and read the command words with the command tonality, and by marking them off somehow.

You’ll find that the more you use these, the more effect you’ll have, and it will become easier and easier to persuade others.

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Here’s a great way to virtually guarantee that people will pay attention to you when you are speaking, as it effectively drowns out any stray thoughts that may crop up in their minds. It’s called the “Selection Restriction Violation,” and is part of the Milton Model set of language patterns and communication strategies.

Basically what it is a violation of well-formed English, as understood by native speakers. It doesn’t break any grammatical rules, so it makes sense, it just sounds strange, even though the underlying meaning is clear. It’s an excellent way to sparse up an otherwise dull sentence.

What you do is give something, (or someone) an attribute that is not normally associated with that thing or person, and use that imaginary attribute to get your point across.

For example, what attributes does a chair have? The material it’s constructed from, the color, the size, the price, the store where you bought it. Whenever you give a chair an attribute not in that list, people will have to pause briefly and check to make sure they understand what you are saying. This pausing and checking will only take half a second or less and will be done internally (although you will usually see an interesting look on their face), so it will get rid of all those stray thoughts people usually have while listening to people speak.

So if you break your chair, the normal way to express your anger or frustration is to say, “I’m angry at my chair.” Some may say, “I’m angry at my stupid chair.” Which is a well-used example, as chairs cannot have intelligence.

Some other ways to say it are:

My chair is upset with me because I broke it.
My chair is angry with me because I abused it.
My chair is depressed, because it failed me, and I have to buy a better one.

This still gets the message across, but will give your listener a bit of a pause to make sure they understand what you are saying.

Some other examples.

Hey, look over there! –> Hey throw your eyes over there!
I’m hungry. –>   My stomach is lonely.
I’m thirsty. –>  I need to water my throat.
We’re late.  –>  They clock is telling us to leave.
Think about this. –> Rest your mind on this.
She’s beautiful. –>  Her body/face has hijacked my attention.
I’m hungry. –> My stomach is lonely.
It was delicious. –> My mouth was very happy.
I don’t know. –> My brain is on strike.

Another way to use these is use sense words (see, feel, hear, touch, taste, etc) in ways they aren’t normally used.

That idea doesn’t smell right.
I need to listen to my thoughts and see if I get any answers.
Let me touch base with my memories and see if I can come up with something.
This sounds delicious (while eating food).

A good way to practice these is to simply listen to other people talk, and while they are talking take some of their statements and reword them using the selection restriction violation to make them sound more interesting and hypnotic. After while you’ll be able to think of them yourself while your speaking, and you will become a much more interesting conversationalist than you already are.

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If you’ve ever wanted a great language pattern to captivate an audience, you’ve come to the right place. This pattern, “Extended Quotes,” is part of the Milton Model set of language patterns and is great to capture a large portion of your listener’s brain.

Basically, it works like this. You start of telling a story, and introduce a person. Not stories like fairy tale stories, but stories that start off with “The other day I was walking my dog and…”

The basic formula is to start a story, introduce a character, (the other day I was walking my dog and I ran into my cousin…) and have the character start to say something. (The other day I was walking my dog and I ran into my cousin, and he was telling me about this new TV that he bought. He said that he went to a really big electronics store downtown, and…). Then describe the character’s story in a little bit of detail.

Then through your characters story (which is a story within your story) you introduce another character, who starts telling his own story, so now you’ve got a story within a story within a story. And just keep on going, until you get to a particular story that’s roughly on the same theme of the idea you’d like to persuade your listener of.

For example, I’d like to persuade you that exercise is the best way to lose weight:

A couple of weeks ago I was out for my morning walk, when I ran into my neighbor. She seemed to have lost a lot of weight, so I asked her how she did it. She said she joined a gym with her friend, and they would go work out every day together. She introduced her to the personal trainer, whom they both shared trainer, and he was telling them that most people found that the easiest way to lose weight was through simple, daily exercise, which is what she was doing when I saw her. And apparently it works because she looked pretty good.

If you’ve read the article on “lack of referential index,” that works fantastic here. You can pepper your extended quotes story with lots of pronouns that your listener will have to do some guessing to figure out who they refer to.

All this, of course, will burn up a lot of your listener’s brain processor, so they’ll have to pay close attention to what you are saying. It’s a great way to grab and hold people’s attention for a long period of time. The more interesting you make your stories and your characters, the better.

Another example, idea = dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market.

Once I knew this guy that was really, really rich. We belonged to the same Toastmasters club that I would go to every Thursday night. It was pretty cool, but it was also pretty scary sometimes, because it was in this big bookshop that was connected to a coffee shop, and the place we gave our speeches was in the area where all the people would sit and drink coffee. We never knew what kind of audience we were going to get.

But I always wanted to ask this guy how he made his millions, and finally I got up the courage to ask him one night. He said when he was a kid he was always very poor, and he had to work a couple of jobs during high school just to help his family out. He vowed to never be poor when he grew up.

It turns out his father lived and struggled through the great depression, and had some pretty limiting beliefs when it came to money, so understandably, it took him a while to shake those off.

One of the things he did that he said really helped him was to study the financial markets until he knew them like the back of his hand. He took seminar after seminar, and he would meet all these guys that had all these ideas on how to make money in the markets.

Once he met this guy that did pretty well, and asked him how he became such a successful operator. He gave him this book, which was printed about a hundred years ago, but it contained some great ideas. One of the things he learned was about dollar cost averaging, which is when you simply buy a stock or an index with the same amount of money every month, regardless of the price.

That’s what taught him what he later realized was the simplest way to make a lot of money in the stock market, basic dollar cost averaging, which has turned many people into millionaires over the years, and continues to do so, regardless of the market conditions.

(end example)

Very long, very convoluted, a lot of pronouns with unclear references, all leading up to the idea of dollar cost averaging being the best way to make money in the stock market.

If you want to have some fun at parties, run a bunch of these patterns by your friends, and watch them slip into a trance right then and there. Even if you don’t have a particular outcome in mind, this will keep them entertained and on their feet.

The trick is to stay congruent, and don’t pause to give your listeners time to catch up, just keep going, and expect them to follow you. They will.

By the way, I was reading this article in the paper the other day, and the author was saying how when he was a kid he always wanted to be a writer, and he read this book on how to do that, and it recommended that the best way to always improve yourself is to read different things by different people. And when he told his father that, his father mentioned that reading this particular blog on a daily basis is a great way to do just that, so you can learn how to get all those things that you want.

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The Milton Model is a wonder set of language tools that you can use in virtually any situation where communication is involved.

Today’s pattern is called “Pacing Current Experience,” and is a great one to start off with.

It simply involves saying things that must be true about the current experience of your listener.

For example, when I write “As you read this…” I know this absolutely must be true about your current experience. What else do I know about you? You can speak English, as this is in English, you have a connection to the Internet, as this is accessible only on the Internet, you are reading on a device that is connected to the Internet.

So when I write:

There you are, using your device, it may be a computer, or an iPhone, or a netbook or something, reading this words, and thinking those thoughts. As you look at your screen, and these words that are on your screen…

It has a very high probability of being true. In and of itself, this pattern won’t do much, but it is a great way slowly lead into other patterns that require more of a “leap of faith” on the part of your listener. A great way to follow this is with the “mind reading pattern.”

There you are, using your device, it may be a computer, or an iPhone, or a netbook or something, reading this words, and thinking those thoughts. As you look at your screen, and these words that are on your screen, you may be wondering about how you can use the Milton Model to increase your own personal happiness, in a way, that’s right, for you. And as you think about that, you may be curious as to how many other people have been able to study and learn these patterns, and how long it took them to make a great deal of improvement simply through the use of these patterns.

You can use this virtually anywhere.

At the beginning of a meeting:

So there you are, waiting for this meeting to start, holding the reports that were handed out earlier…

At the beginning of a sales call.

So here we are, sitting here, looking at these brochures of product X, which you called to ask me about yesterday, and asked if I could come to your home and help you decide whether or not this is a product that can really benefit you…

At the beginning of a conversation at a social gathering.

Wow. Lots of people here. Looks like a few came with a date, and a few came with a group of friends, and this place seems to be big enough to hold everybody, I heard that they close at 2 A.M….

At the beginning of a jury trial (to the jurors, in case you are a defense or prosecuting attorney).

So here we are, in this courtroom. You’ve come here today instead of doing the things you normally do on a Tuesday. You are sitting in two rows, six in front, and six in back. The Judge has given you strict rules to follow. You have all agreed to follow those rules. My client has been accused of murder. There was enough evidence for the police to arrest him. He is sitting right over there, listening to me speak, had hoping that I can convince you that he is innocent…

A really great way to practice this pattern is to go to Starbucks, or any other place where you can sit comfortably for an hour or so, and just watch people. Pick somebody that is sitting, and give them a good look for about five seconds. (Don’t be weird though!) Then just write down in a notebook three or four things that are absolutely true about their experience, and phrase them as if you are starting a conversation with them.

For extra practice, you can follow up with the Mind Reading pattern, and come up with some ideas that they are likely thinking based on the situation.

Remember, the more you practice, the easier this will be to do conversationally, without thinking.

Have Fun!

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The Milton Model is a fantastic set of language patterns and communication strategies that you can use to conversationally hypnotize your friends, increase your sales, or just improve the overall effectiveness of your communication.

Today’s pattern is the “Lack of Referential Index” pattern, and is very simple, and very hypnotic. It causes your listener or reader to “go inside” and fill in the blanks with their own experiences, imaginations, and guesses.

The referential index that you are deleting in this pattern is a specific group of people or things. Normally, when refer to a specific group or a specific person, we first name them, and then later refer to them in the conversation with a pronoun. I saw John, and he said “hi.” The “John” is the referential index, and the “he” is the pronoun that refers back to it once the referential index has been identified.

When you use a pronoun without first identifying the referential index, the listener will have to guess or make assumptions about who you are referring to. And whenever somebody guesses or makes assumptions, they are filling in the blanks based on their own experience. And when they do that, they are supporting your ideas with their own imaginations.

Frequently words like “one,” and “people,” can do the job well.

Some examples:

One can learn these patterns very quickly.
One can become more influential with only a couple of these patterns.
One can easily double their sales revenue by simple application of these patterns.

People can learn new things easily.
People can find ways to improve themselves that they weren’t aware of before.

Since I haven’t said who “one” is or who “people” are, then you’ve got to come up with your own imaginations, which means you are tacitly agreeing with these ideas, supported by your own imaginations.

Another way to use these is to actually specific a couple of people, or groups, and then use only one pronoun later. When you do this, your listener will have to figure out which person you are referring to. This takes up brain processing time, as well as allowing them to choose whichever one suits them the best. In order to do that, they’ve actually got to process all possibilities.

I saw speaking with my cousin Julia yesterday about my niece, Rebecca. We were talking and Rebecca walked into the room, which was strange because she was supposed to be at ballet practice. So anyway, the three of us were standing there, and she said that she wanted to get some ice cream, but she said that the ice cream shop had closed down. Something to do with termites. After that they got into a big argument about which ice cream flavor was best, so I left. I prefer chocolate, and they don’t.

In the above example, some of the pronouns are clear, and some aren’t. For the ones’ that aren’t you’ve got to “try them out” with each person to see which one makes the most sense.

This pattern is also responsible for the infamous “they,” that seem to know everything.

(They say you should always learn more, and reading this blog on a daily basis is a great example.)

When you use this with “one,” or “people,” it’s a great, quick way to deliver an idea that will likely be accepted by your listener without too much questioning. When use this with simple pronouns that don’t clearly refer to any one particular previously mentioned noun, you can create some pretty good hypnotic effects, setting up your listener to receive some pretty good ideas.

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Greetings, and thanks for stopping by. This is another article on the Milton Model, the powerful set of language patterns and communication strategies that can skyrocket your effectiveness into the stratosphere.

Today’s pattern is on “Nominalizations,” and has a very hypnotic effect when used properly. The good news is that to use them properly is very easy, and you’ll be able to make some pretty good “hypnotic” statements by the time you finish reading this.

A “nominalization,” or sometimes referred to under the category of “abstract nouns,” (link to a big list here) is any noun that isn’t a physical thing. If you can use it grammatically as a noun, but you’d be hard pressed to paint a picture of it, or pick it up and toss it out the window, when it’s a nominalization.

These work because whenever we used words in language, we have to use words that are generally agreed upon by everybody in our society. We can’t just go around making up words (unless you happen to be John Lennon, or Shakespeare, who both contributed quite a few new words and phrases to the English language), so you are stuck using words that already exist.

When you use nouns, people will generally do a quick check internally so they know what noun you are talking about. This is incredibly fast, and well below conscious awareness.

When you refer to or use nouns like “red bicycle,” or “angry gorilla,” or “pink umbrella,” people will generally use very little processing time to figure out what you’re talking about, and they aren’t very hypnotic by nature.

But when you start talking in nominalizations, they brain has to take a lot more time to process them.

The reason is that nominalizations are very vague, and mean different things to most people. For example, your definition of the following words will likely be different than anybody else:

Education

Success

Achievement

Learnings

Realizations

So whenever you drop these into a sentence, your listener or reader will have to spend a little bit of time trying to come up with their own definition. This does two things. One is that it takes more time than normal (although still likely below conscious awareness). The other is that since they are using their own definitions, they are covertly and unwittingly going along with what you are saying, since they are using their own, private definitions of the words you are using.

A way to take this a step further is to use a couple of nominalizations in a cause/effect (X causes Y) or complex equivalent (X means Y) statement. This will require a lot more processing time. If you create statements that most people will find some internal evidence of being true, then you’ve got a great way of inducing that hypnotic “huh?” in people while they are listening to you.

If you use too many of these in a row, you will start to sound like some new age crazy person talking about the coming reptilian revolution. But when you switch in and out of “hypnotic language” your listener will fall in and out of trance during your conversation, and you can present your ideas, or move their emotions with much less conscious resistance.

For example, if I said:

The learnings you will receive from this seminar will lead to fantastic realizations that can cause you to experience a series of awakenings which will deliver you to a new paradigm of reality engineering.

This is too vague, and too non-sensical, and likely won’t be very effective. However, if you take a couple of these nominalization based cause/effect statements, and surround them with normal “everyday” speech devoid of any “hypnotic technology,” they’ll slip right in, and they will sound much more believable.

For example:

One of our best selling products is a DVD home study course on investing in the stock market. It covers the history of the stock market, the rules and regulations, as well as some basic strategies on how to successfully invest. Some of our clients were a little wary of studying something new, as they hadn’t really been to school in a long time. But once they understood that not only education, but repeated education can lead to useful realizations that can cause amazing understandings on how financial markets work, they were able to later apply those understandings and subsequently make some serious money with our products. In fact the education our products provide you is far better and much more applicable than any knowledge you may have received in school, as many of our earlier clients are now happily retired, much earlier than they would have been able to had it not been for our products.

When you think about how you can apply this knowledge, in your daily life, I’m sure you can see now the information here can really be helpful in creating fantastic discoveries.

Some people use these language patterns for sales, some personal development of self and others, and some just for fun. One truth about these language patterns is that their versatility and flexibility allow you a wide range of applications that are limited only by your imagination. And when you think about how applying your imagination can lead to startling and wonderful results, you can really begin to appreciate your potential.

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The Milton Model is a powerful set of language tools and communication strategies that you can use in a variety of situations to conversationally, or covertly hypnotize and persuade others.

Today’s pattern is called the “Complex Equivalent.”

It is very similar to the cause and effect, but is a little bit more subtle, and a lot more versatile. Instead of the “cause and effect” pattern, where you say that “x causes y,” with the “complex equivalent” pattern, you say the “x means y,” where can be pretty much anything, and y can be anything as well.

For example, let’s say you are holding an information meeting where you hope to sell some kind of investment products. You can take something that is absolutely true, they are at an information meeting on investments, and simply give it a meeting that helps you:

You’re being here means that you are interested in a new way to safely make some money, and because of our newly designed products are exactly for people like yourselves, that means that many of you will find exactly what you are looking for.”

Or you could combine this with a previous pattern, mind reading, saying something that is generally true about most people, and assign it any meaning to your liking:

You’re being anxious about your financial future only means that you are more open to opportunities than other people.

One effective way to use this is to take somebody else’s implied complex equivalent, and simply redefine whatever they think means something to mean something else.

If somebody says they can’t do well in business because they don’t have a college degree (no college degree means not good in business), you can “reframe” this to say that not having a college degree actually means that they’ve had more time in the real world, and that is actually better for business, not some theoretical classroom learning environment that you can’t really apply anywhere.

A couple other examples:

My parents were poor, that means I’ll be poor (having poor parents means you’ll be poor). Not really, that only means that you get to discover your own way to be rich, which is better than some kids of rich parents, who are trapped into making money the same way their parents did.

I got passed over for a promotion means that my boss doesn’t like me.
Not really, that means that your boss really appreciates and values the job you are doing now, and hasn’t found somebody to replace you yet.

Yet another way to covertly slip this pattern in any conversation is to connect any two ideas with the word “is.” “Is”, is basically a linguistic “equals” sign, equating the idea on the left, with the idea on the right.

You’re reading this is really good because you can really learn a lot from this.

You thinking those thoughts now is fantastic because that is an indication that you are on the brink of some fantastic learnings.

The Milton Model is the easiest method to conversationally hypnotize people and make them feel wonderful about themselves, and that is one of the best ways gain quick respect and admiration from almost anyone you speak with.

Milton Model language patterns are the quickest way to connect directly with your unconscious to create lasting change for the better.

Your sitting in your chair reading this now is an indication that you are committed to self-improvement, and that is the best way you can achieve success in any area of your life. In fact reading this blog on a daily basis is one of the greatest ways to get there.

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There have been many psychologists and philosophers over the years that have claimed that the brain is nothing more than a cause/effect creator, creating imagined relationships between events in the outside world.

While this may not be entirely accurate, it is true to a certain extent. Seeing one thing, and seeing something else happen in the same order a couple of times, and then developing a cause/effect belief about the pair of event is a huge time saver when it comes to cerebral processing power.

For example, if you were a caveman, and smelled a distinctive odor just before seeing a tiger, you’d certainly remember those two events as linked, so that in the future you’d be able to run quickly away at the same smell, instead of waiting to see if it meant tiger.

This powerful brain process can be used effectively in persuasion. In the Milton Model, “Cause and Effect” is a power linguistic tool. It can be used several ways.

You can phrase your idea as some kind of cause, and use a generally desired event or condition as the effect.

Buying my product will cause you to be very happy.

Participating in this investment program will cause you to become wealthy.

Participating in this exercise program will cause you to lose weight.

You could also turn it around, and lead with the desirable effect, and then imply the cause to the positive effect.

If you really want to be successful, you should study these language patterns.

If you’d like to easily lose weight, you should exercise every morning.

If you want to have a comfortable retirement, you should start investing now.

If you’d like to enjoy your grandchildren growing up, you should quit smoking.

You can also link an increase in one event or condition to an increase in another state or condition, by using “the more…the more”

The more you exercise, the more weight you’ll lose

The more you study, the smarter you’ll become.

The less you watch TV, the more free time you’ll have.

Another way to make these sound a bit less obvious is phrase them other than “X causes Y,” as this can be easy to refute with a simple “no it doesn’t.”

Another way to say “X causes Y” is:

X leads to Y

X can make Y a real possibility

X is naturally followed by Y

You can also soften it up even more (and therefore making them harder to argue with) by quoting some other group, either real or vague.

Many people have discovered that exercise naturally leads to easy weight loss.

More and more people are starting to realize that the sooner you start with dollar cost averaging, the easier you’re retirement will be.

It’s been proven time and time again that by learning conversational use of the Milton Model, you’ll easily become the most persuasive speaker that anyone has ever come in contact with.

And of course, as I’m sure you’ve realized by now, that the more you read this blog, the easier it will be to do just that.

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Welcome to another article on the powerful language patterns known as the Milton Model, modeled after world famous hypnotherapist Milton Erickson.

Today’s pattern is called the “Lost Performative,” and is very powerful.

If I were to say to you that expert financial advisors from Yale believe that the stock market will produce consistent double-digit returns from dollar cost averaging, you may believe me, but you may not. You may have experience with Yale trained financial advisors, or you may have experience with dollar cost averaging that didn’t work out so well.

However, most people would take this as true, but both elements that construct this “thought,” if you will, this group of “experts” who are claiming this “idea” come from me, the speaker. If you have a problem with one or the other, that is if you have a specific problem with dollar cost averaging OR financial advisors from Yale, then I’ve got a problem.

However, there is a way to make extremely vague the referenced group, or even that it is a group at all.

Consider this:

It has been proven time and time again that dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market.

I’m still saying that dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market, but now I’m referencing a very vague element. Who proved it? How did they prove it? How many times did they prove it?

None of these questions are usually asked by the listener, they just fill in the blanks usually on their own. And usually very quickly, and very unconsciously.

Which means that now you have your idea, dollar cost averaging is the best way to make money in the stock market, is being claimed by some group that they themselves imagined. Which it means that your idea will be much harder to disagree with.

In order to create this pattern, start off your idea with statements like:

It has been proven that…

It is widely accepted that…

It has been known for years that…

It is widely recognized that…

And then simply insert your idea.

Say you are selling a car to somebody, and you sense that they are nervous. A good idea for them to believe is that after they buy the car, they will really enjoy their new purchase, and forget all their worries.

You may say something like:

I know you’re worried if you are making the right choice or not, but it happens time and time again when people are buying something important like this that their worries virtually vanish once they make a decision. Now, I’m not sure if you ready to decide today or not, but it has been seen time and time again that once you do, you’ll be really happy.

A great way to practice this pattern is go onto any forum that receives a good amount of traffic, and you can argue things that are hard to prove one way or another. And use this pattern and see how people react to it.

You can also try this with your friends down at the bar. (If you want to try and get some free drinks).

It has been a well-known fact for centuries that those that buy drinks for others are much higher regarded than those that receive the drinks.

Or something like that.

Have fun!

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